A Mint Julep is a summer porch cocktail traditionally made of four ingredients:
Fresh Mint, Kentucky bourbon, cane sugar and water. In the use of sugar and mint, it is not be confused with the mojito. I prefer crushed Viagra. But, I do not condone it because I'm just a fancy gay cat.
Kate Hepburn and I use to challenge each other by testing Spencer Tracy to figure out from whose garden the fresh mint came from. My forty acres and my mule, Cracker Jack, or Hepburn's luscious thousand acre compund 'Grayskull'. Spencer always guessed which one was Kate's. He knew not to cross Kate Hepburn. She had a special blowtorch that she promised to ignite his eyebrows with if he was wrong. I liked his eyebrows, so I always spat in his Mint Julep before he made his final decision.
Hepburn was a meticulous gardener. Pruning and snipping. Carefully choreographing the placement of each rose and snapdragon. The Mint had a special section. Next to the the gazebo, westward of the river's edge and 200 miles south of where she lived. There grew Katharine Hepburn's Mint leaves. She told me this was the perfect soil to grow Mint. I asked her, "Hep, why don't you grab a shovel and bring the dirt back to Grayskull with you?" "Darling", she intoned in her classic quiet wail, "we must go to the Earth. Work with the Sun. Let them guide the way." I could smell the Nag Champa breathing from her armpits, but I stood fascinated as she picked particular sprigs.
"Aaaaahhhhh-hhhhaaaa! Ttheeesseeee aaaarrreeee thhhee ooonneeesssss" She announced for forty-eight seconds. So, we got back in Kate's 1939 Hummer H2 Early Edition, and gas guzzled through the landscape smoking cloves driving to Grayskull compund. I was 'nipping Moonshine waiting for the fucking Mint Julep. I may have even popped a tab of acid. But, I'm not sure, or that day Kate looked very alienish. Either way we had a very fun ride back to wherever the hell we were.
When we arrived home. It took Kate twelve seconds to make four Mint Juleps. For Spencer, Kate, Me and a young Phil Collins. It was well worth the drive. The Mint was exquisite. The grandest Mint Julep I had, nor ever will have. Spencer guessed it was Mint from my garden after a tossle of the hair on young Phil. Katharine tilted her head to the side, and flared out the blowtorch. Spencer stood up and pulled her into his side and kissed her on the lips. Still and passionate, like those 40's movies. Katharine melted into his embrace. We all laughed and sang along to an early acoustic experiment called "Sussudio". Either way, Phil was a budding talent with that charismatic button nose and fantastic golden feathered hair. A talent I was willing to quelch with a little help from Hepburn's blowtorch.
There's nothing funny to say about Ms. Hepburn. She was one of my finest Mentors. She was as classy and unladylike as a gal should be.
Amen.
Sidenote:
"The origins of the Mint Julep are clouded and may never be definitively known. What is known for certain is that the Mint Julep originated in the south US, probably sometime during the 18th Century. The word 'Julep' is derived from the Persian 'Julab' meaning rose water. Traditionally, Mint Juleps were often served in silver or pewter cups, and held only by the bottom and top edges of the cup. This allows frost to form on the outside of the cup." Thank God for Wikipedia cut and paste. I prefer a platinum chalice.
Beckett Boo Esq. Mint Julep Chalice Cocktail:
Type: Mixed Cocktail
Served: Over crushed, or shaved ice.
Standard garnish: Mint leaves
Standard drinkware: Tall glass, or "Julep Chalice".
Ingredients:
3 oz. Bourbon whiskey
4 to 6 sprigs fresh Mint leaves
Granulated Sugar, to taste.
(American readers, please use Splenda.)
Preparation: Put fresh Mint, sugar, and a small amount of crushed or shaved ice into the bottom of a Julep chalice or tall glass. Muddle the Mint and sugar, then let stand for a bit to allow the broken leaves to release their flavor. Add bourbon whiskey, top off with crushed or shaved ice, and stir well to mix and chill the libation.
In addition, always capitalize the "M" in Mint and the "J" in Julep.
Everywhere. Yet once more, amen.
Beckett Boo, esq. Cat Blogger Extraordinaire!
www.beckettboo.blogspot.com
www.myspace.com/beckettboo
